John:"There are no flies in China."
This is a comment John made to me at 5:30 this morning. At that time of the day it's not rare that I hear things incorrectly. This had to be one of those times.
Me:"Um, could you repeat that, please."
John:"I said, there are no flies in China."
Me:"What happened to them?"
John:"Haven't you heard of communism?"
Me:"Well, of course, but what does communism have to do with flies?"
John:"There was a time when the Republic of China required everyone to turn in a certain number of flies."
Me:'Oh...what happened if someone couldn't find a fly to turn in?"
John:"Then they didn't turn in a fly."
Me: "Would they get executed if they didn't? I mean that would really suck to lose your life over a dead fly.."
Me:"Oh..where did you hear this?"
John:"Everybody knows that."
Everybody does NOT know that. I did not know that. But then again, I did not know what 'I feel like a mushroom' meant either and it turned out I was about the only person alive who didn't know what that meant.
I drank my coffee and went to the computer and did a search on 'flies in China.' No crap..it was true! Apparently, everyone was required to turn in ten flies at a time.
I love this idea. Because I hate flies. Flies are the most despicable creatures alive. Well, the second...grasshoppers are worse. (I still hate you, Eddie Margarvo.) But flies run a close second. they poo and tee and barf wherever they land. Even their young are horrible maggotty little pieces of filth.
Yesterday I took a long nap and when I awoke, I poured myself a cup of coffee left over from the morning's brew. I took it outside to our patio, set it on the green wicker table anad turned around to let the dog outside. I sat down, reached for my coffee and there, swimming around in my cuppa joe is a fly. And I mean swimming. The thing was doing the breast stroke. I was frozen with disgust as I watched it streatch its black ugly front legs up and down and in and out of my coffee. It was obviously enjoying itself. Swimming. In my coffee. I half expected it to flip over and fancy itself with the back stroke. Needless to say, the coffee was thrown in the grass.
I love youtube. There is absolutely nothing you can't find there. So I figured folks would not believe me that this once-maggot piece of flith was swimming unless I had proof. Sure enough, I found this:
Gotta love that youtube.com.
Week Three Summary
3 years ago