Tuesday, June 1, 2010

China; The 'No Fly' Zone

John:"There are no flies in China."

This is a comment John made to me at 5:30 this morning. At that time of the day it's not rare that I hear things incorrectly. This had to be one of those times.

Me:"Um, could you repeat that, please."

John:"I said, there are no flies in China."

Me:"What happened to them?"

John:"Haven't you heard of communism?"

Me:"Well, of course, but what does communism have to do with flies?"

John:"There was a time when the Republic of China required everyone to turn in a certain number of flies."

Me:'Oh...what happened if someone couldn't find a fly to turn in?"

John:"Then they didn't turn in a fly."

Me: "Would they get executed if they didn't? I mean that would really suck to lose your life over a dead fly.."

John:"I dunno."

Me:"Oh..where did you hear this?"

John:"Everybody knows that."

Everybody does NOT know that. I did not know that. But then again, I did not know what 'I feel like a mushroom' meant either and it turned out I was about the only person alive who didn't know what that meant.

I drank my coffee and went to the computer and did a search on 'flies in China.' No crap..it was true! Apparently, everyone was required to turn in ten flies at a time.

I love this idea. Because I hate flies. Flies are the most despicable creatures alive. Well, the second...grasshoppers are worse. (I still hate you, Eddie Margarvo.) But flies run a close second. they poo and tee and barf wherever they land. Even their young are horrible maggotty little pieces of filth.

Yesterday I took a long nap and when I awoke, I poured myself a cup of coffee left over from the morning's brew. I took it outside to our patio, set it on the green wicker table anad turned around to let the dog outside. I sat down, reached for my coffee and there, swimming around in my cuppa joe is a fly. And I mean swimming. The thing was doing the breast stroke. I was frozen with disgust as I watched it streatch its black ugly front legs up and down and in and out of my coffee. It was obviously enjoying itself. Swimming. In my coffee. I half expected it to flip over and fancy itself with the back stroke. Needless to say, the coffee was thrown in the grass.

I love youtube. There is absolutely nothing you can't find there. So I figured folks would not believe me that this once-maggot piece of flith was swimming unless I had proof. Sure enough, I found this:

Gotta love that youtube.com.


  1. I have a new respect for China!
    I am 150% with you regarding flies! I hate eating outside because of them. I always tell my family,.."They go and sit on dog crap then then come and sit on our food."
    I find them swimming in our pool all the time. Little bastards.


  2. Isn't it kinda cool that in addition to flying (which humans can't do) they can swim, sort of?

    Also, as a side note, I bet you hate fleas more. And those "terrible, horrible ants" (you blogged on them before) that you spray pesticides on actually loooove to eat fleas and flea larva. Just some food for thought.
    In addition to indeed eliminating waste on YOUR food, they also help MAKE your food in that they are also a part of the pollination process (bees just get all the glory). Flies also are major composters of the world- they make use of dead matter as a food source and eventually elimate it, as well as using it for incubation for their larva. Sooooooo, they're efficient little critters. They're not all bad.
    And if you ask, yes I've killed flies. I've killed ants too, when they got on me or my dogs. In fact, there's not many bugs I can say that I haven't smited. But- they came after me. Otherwise, I leave them alone.

  3. Generally speaking I don't mind flies, last summer I went camping up at the end of Deer Park road and there was millions of them there, other than the many (big) flies and the noise I mostly ignored them but they drove the few deer there crazy. Guess they were that kind of fly.

    In fact, there's not many bugs I can say that I haven't smited. But- they came after me. Otherwise, I leave them alone.

    Everything has a right to a chance at an existence here, as long as it isn't in my space and face. If it is it may end up dead. And it's okay, nature over produces everything anyway.

  4. I made a rhubarb pie today and it looks ok but I'm not trying it until tomorrow. I've never been big on making pies, rolling out dough always seems messy to me. Everything wants to stick to the damn rolling pin. Misplaced my rolling pin anyway, but an empty Vodka bottle works ok.


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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