I, Mushroom

This is the weirdest thing; I'm walking through the bookstore this morning and I hear a woman saying this to her companion:

"I feel like a mushroom."

I thought it was a strange thing to say but forgot about it. Then a few hours late I hear a young guy say to his mom:

"I feel like a mushroom."

Okay, twice in one day and I am beginning to think this means something. I decide to try it on my son when he got home from work tonight.

"Hi." I say as he walks in the door. "How'ya doing."

"Good, mom. How'd your day go?"

"Oh I guess it was okay..I kind of felt like a mushroom tho."

"Sorry to hear that mom." and out the door he goes.

Great.

I called after him..

"Hey! Get back here!"

He keeps on going and gets into his friend Kenny's truck. "Ma, I gotta go! What do you want? Is it important?"

"Yes! I want to know what it means to feel like a mushroom!"

Kenny starts the engine and off they go. I can hear my son yelling out an answer but I can't hear it because Kenny's muffler sounds like dual canons going off.

Great.

Okay, I must be the only person who doesn't know what that means. I phone my sister ,Jeanne, who is one of the few folks left in the world who knows less slang than I do.

"Hey, Beej. Whats up?" she asks.

Here comes my moment.

"Oh, I dunno, "I say. "I guess I kind of feel like a mushroom."

"I'm sorry." she answers. Now I feel real out of it.

"Um, you know what that means?" i ask.

"Of course. Thant's old. Hey, let me call you back. Someones at the door."
And she hangs up.

Great.

Okay now I'm on a mission to find out what the heck that means so I google it and I get my answer. It means, 'kept in the dark and fed bullshit.' Clever!

Np sooner to I discover this when the phone rings. It's my daughter.

"Hey honey."

"Hey mom."

"Honey do you know what it means to feel like a mushroom?"

"Sure! It means you're kept in the dark and.."

"How did you know that??" I interrupt.

"Everyone knows that mom. Its been around longer than you have."

Great.

"Well, how come I never heard it before today?"

"Well, mom, there's a good reason for that." I sense my kid snickering at me.

"It's because you're a mushroom!" She laughs so hard she is snorting, but I think she's telling the truth.

Great. Just great..