Saturday, February 6, 2010

I, Mushroom

This is the weirdest thing; I'm walking through the bookstore this morning and I hear a woman saying this to her companion:

"I feel like a mushroom."

I thought it was a strange thing to say but forgot about it. Then a few hours late I hear a young guy say to his mom:

"I feel like a mushroom."

Okay, twice in one day and I am beginning to think this means something. I decide to try it on my son when he got home from work tonight.

"Hi." I say as he walks in the door. "How'ya doing."

"Good, mom. How'd your day go?"

"Oh I guess it was okay..I kind of felt like a mushroom tho."

"Sorry to hear that mom." and out the door he goes.


I called after him..

"Hey! Get back here!"

He keeps on going and gets into his friend Kenny's truck. "Ma, I gotta go! What do you want? Is it important?"

"Yes! I want to know what it means to feel like a mushroom!"

Kenny starts the engine and off they go. I can hear my son yelling out an answer but I can't hear it because Kenny's muffler sounds like dual canons going off.


Okay, I must be the only person who doesn't know what that means. I phone my sister ,Jeanne, who is one of the few folks left in the world who knows less slang than I do.

"Hey, Beej. Whats up?" she asks.

Here comes my moment.

"Oh, I dunno, "I say. "I guess I kind of feel like a mushroom."

"I'm sorry." she answers. Now I feel real out of it.

"Um, you know what that means?" i ask.

"Of course. Thant's old. Hey, let me call you back. Someones at the door."
And she hangs up.


Okay now I'm on a mission to find out what the heck that means so I google it and I get my answer. It means, 'kept in the dark and fed bullshit.' Clever!

Np sooner to I discover this when the phone rings. It's my daughter.

"Hey honey."

"Hey mom."

"Honey do you know what it means to feel like a mushroom?"

"Sure! It means you're kept in the dark and.."

"How did you know that??" I interrupt.

"Everyone knows that mom. Its been around longer than you have."


"Well, how come I never heard it before today?"

"Well, mom, there's a good reason for that." I sense my kid snickering at me.

"It's because you're a mushroom!" She laughs so hard she is snorting, but I think she's telling the truth.

Great. Just great..


  1. You didn't know what that meant? What in the hell planet have you been living on?

  2. Billy, I swear, I never heard that before in my life. Never!

  3. And you work in a book store and read a lot, ha ha ha ha

  4. True! Mybe I'm reading the wrong stuff, eh? :)

  5. I'll be honest, I've never ever heard that before in my life- until I read this blog.
    Yay for an education!

  6. Yay!!! I am not the only person on the face of the whole earth that hasn't heard this before and I feel better now :)

  7. I was once out for a meal with Carol and the starters included either chicken or mushroom soup amongst other things.

    The waiter said "Yes sir?"

    "Soup" I answered

    "Chicken or mushroom?" he asked reasonably

    "Pwaaak...pkpkpkpkpkpk...pwaaaak" I answered

    The waiter attempted not to smile.

    "Chicken sir"

    "No! Mushroom"

    "But you made a noise like a chicken sir!"

    "Yeah. I can't make a noise like a mushroom"

    Carol then hit me on the head with a spoon.

    I behaved thereafter...;-)

  8. Lol! Carol must laugh all through the day, every day!

  9. Very nice blog!!! I love to prepare some recipe that contain many mushrooms, i really like the flavor. Mushrooms combine with some ingredients are really delicous. So when i cook i usually add many mushrooms to my recipes and my husband is happy too.
    Actually i was looking information about how to buy viagra but i was entertainment reading this blog.


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

eXTReMe Tracker