I may not be the most computer savvy person in the world but I sure do better than my sister Jeanne. She purchased her first computer a few years ago and I did not get a straight night of uninterrupted sleep for weeks after. She would try to do the simplest things for hours and then, giving up after midnight, she would phone me.
"Whaaa?" Being rousted out of a dead sleep by my sister's voice is not something I enjoy.
"What are you doing?"
"Huh?" I am not having a nightmare; it is really my sister phoning me at 1:30am asking me what I'm doing.
"Did I wake you up?"
(Nah..I sit up all night waiting for your stupid questions about your stupid computer!)
By now, I realize I am not going to be left alone until I help her.
"Ok, what don't you know how to do with your computer?" I quietly get out of bed, thinking I should put on the coffee because I know these calls can last a while.
"I can't shut it off."
"I know you told me how to do it and I did it fine but now it doesn't work."
"Shit, Jeanne! Shit shit shit! I need to get up with my kids early and you are waking me up to ask me how to turn off your friggin' computer??!"
"Why are you angry with me?"
I close my eyes and begin to count to ten.
"Jeanne, see that button on the bottom left of your screen?"
"On the start button."
"but I don't want to start it."
"Jean. click on that button."
"did you click there yet?"
"No. I was waiting for you."
"Jean throw the effin thing out your window and leave me alone!"
Now, that was a few years back and I swear it's the real deal, a true story. Well, a few weeks ago, my sister Jeanne got her first laptop.
"Hey Beej! I got a laptop!"
(oh oh great; I have a bad feeling..) "Good deal Jeanne!"
"How do I start it?"
I tell her to charge it up and call me back in a few hours. Sure as shootin, the phone rings. I am not sure why I answered it because I knew it was going to be a hassle.
"Okay! I charged the cord!"
"what do you mean, you charged the cord?"
"Well, I plugged the one end in the wall and let the other end dangle off the table."
Now I bet you re thinking, 'Beej is making this up.' I wish I could assure you that you are correct. But I'm not making any of this up. My beautiful sister Jeanne is dangling the other end of the cord over her table.
"Jeane, why didn't you plug it into the computer?"
"Why do I need to?"
"Because you need to charge your computer battery!!"
"I am! Isn't that the battery in the middle of my cord?"
"No! Its your power pack!"
"Nuh uh! Its the battery!!"
"Ok, Jeanne, I'll tell you what.. you go ahead and do it the way you think you should. You charge your cord or whatever you think you re doing and tell me how it works for you."
I hung up the phone and went about my day. Few hours later my sister calls me back.
"What." (we are so polite to one another..)
"I charged my cord and plugged it into my computer but it won't go on. Can you help me??"
Actually, I have the perfect, absolutely PERFECT solution:
Week Three Summary
3 years ago