Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Don't Worry Jenny, the Hypodermic Was A Ruse.

Yesterday morning I was in my car listening to the local radio. The DJ began to read letters sent to him via the station's Facebook page.

"We have this from Jenny. When will it be safe to eat Walmart's meat again without fear of finding a hypodermic needle in your mouth?" He said.

Huh? Okay, I know that every so often we will hear about various things in our food, things we would rather not have there, but a hypodermic needle? That's a new one on me.

"Jenny, " the DJ responds, "That was one isolated case in one store. You do not have to fear Walmart's meat."

This is the scoop: apparently a man in the Tampa Florida area stuck a hypodermic needle in a package of hamburger at the local Super Walmart.

Kyle Sumrall, 26.

Now, Mr. Sumrall did not do this to be mean or to harm anybody. He did it because his floors were dirty. See, Mr. Sumrall needed to vacuum his house. The only problem was, he did not have a vacuum and he had no money with which to purchase a vacuum. His only recourse was to go to Walmart and steal one.

Mr. Sumrall thought he had this well planned. After what must have taken great thought, he decided he needed to divert Walmart workers' attention while he made his escape with his newly stolen Hoover. So, he purchased some hypodermics, went to the meat counter, and inserted the needle into the package. Then he took the meat to the managers. He showed his outrage at finding this dangerous needle in his meat.

Apparently the upper echelon of this local Super Walmart went nuts. The store was up in arms. And while they were all focused on that, Mr. Sumrall (Dumbrall?) waltzed over to the small appliance section, grabbed a $329 Hoover, and trotted out of the store with it.

Now, Mr. Sumrall did not think this through as well as he should have because he forgot all about the security cameras. When the police arrived, they did their little investigation and saw film of this man not only pushing the hypodermic into the meat, but also strolling out with the Hoover.

Mr. Sumrall was arrested and now his carpets will never get least not for a very long time.


  1. "When will it be safe to eat Walmart's meat again without fear of finding a hypodermic needle in your mouth?"


    You buy cheap you get cheap.

    Just be thankful they didn't sue you for the return of the hypo!!!...;-)

  2. Yesterday morning I was in my car listening to the local radio.

    The only time I turn the radio on in the truck is to listen to my George Carlin CD's. Or a few music CD's I have.

    I've never bought any Walmart meat but I guess that could happen to anyone that sells meat?

    Not much fear of finding one in the stray dogs I grind up for hamburger here.

  3. Four, I was wondering if you got the heroin in the steak to go along with the hypo in the hamburger.

    Billy, you cant use dog for hamburger! You use it for hot dogs! Awww poor puppy. :(

  4. Yikes.. That is sad... Very sad some one had to do such a terrible thing.. that scares the day lights out of me now.. I have bought a plenty meat at WalMart but we try and shop local when we can at our locally employee owned Woodman's grocery store...

  5. tweetey, it kind of makes you nervous to eat anything that has been out of your control even for a minute, doesnt it? But I guess we have no choice unless you become a vegan and grow your own fruit and veggies.

  6. Ya gotta look at it this way. It was a cry for help.

  7. HAHAHAHAAA!!! You crack me up..


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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