Hi, mom. It's me, Beej. It's been such a long time since I've talked with you. I want you to know I never stopped missing you. So much has happened since you've been gone. I have a family now. You missed meeting your two grandchildren, my two kids. They're pretty much grown now. You would have adored them. And they would have adored you. What a shame, what a horrible joke that you left me so soon. Too soon.
The world is a different place than the one you left. There's the internet now. How in the world do I explain the internet to you? I suppose I could say its a way to talk to other people the world over, to gather information right in your own home, all with the push of a button or two. Is it real? I don't know. I know it affects my life more than it should. But I don't want to spend too much time telling you about that.
My sisters are both doing well. They are grandparents now. Isn't that amazing? I'm not yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've told lots of people about you and dad and what wonderful parents you were. I guess that's my way of keeping you alive and a part of my life.
Am I happy? Not really, but that's ok. I don't think people are meant to be too happy. We might become complacent and get eaten by a reptile. :) Just kidding.
Am I content? To an extent, I suppose.
The world had really really changed mom. I'm not sure you would like it now. One positive thing is that we elected a black president. Remember how the south used to be? Remember the time when I was a wee thing and we went to a restaurant and I had to go to the bathroom..I went to the closest one I could find. It happened to be a bathroom for the black people and a waitress came and got me and she scolded me. She scolded me!! You didn't tho. Well, in that regard, the world has improved but in other ways, it has not.
People are greedy now, mom. Maybe they always were and I was too young to know that. But now, folks are not happy with one car. One tv. Sometimes even one house. Everybody wants to go around as if they were wealthy. And most folks are far from it.
Priorities have changed. I remember when priorities included kindness. Goodness. God family respect love. Oh, I suppose those things are still there somewhere. But there are more important things. Like work. Everybody is frantic to make more and more money. They don't have the time to play now. Used to be kids would go outside and run and laugh and enjoy the sun and enjoy the rain. Now kids sit inside playing what we call video games. They've gotten fatter and lazier and more selfish. Fun. Money. Everybody is hunting frantically for fun and money.
You would not like it here now mom. And tho i miss you and will always hurt for you, I am glad you did not live to see the world as it is now.
Mom, I promise you, I have tried to keep the standards you taught me. I have tried to emulate you in so many ways. Sometimes I feel like a failure but for the most part, I think I've done okay.
Oh, and mom? I love you. I love dad. And I thank you and bless you every day for what you gave me. All the music. All the music!!!! All the laughter and all the lessons and all the memories.
Mom thank you. Always, thank you. A Billion times over, thank you! Tell my dad I said "hey" and that I love him too.
A few things my mother taught me. There were manymanymany of these, but here are my favorites. My sisters and I call these 'MARGIE-ISMS':
1. WHEN MONEY FLIES OUT THE WINDOW, LOVE WALKS OUT THE DOOR.
By this she did not mean that money was all important. She meant that it's not easy to worry about love when you can't feed your family.
2. YOU HAVE TO BE CHARMING TO BE A GOOD THIEF.
This was something that proved invaluable to me when I was a teen. It means do not fall for someone's (in my case, a guy's) charm. Charm is only that. Charm.
3.IF YOU WALLOW WITH PIGS, YOU'LL START TO STINK.
this means if you hang around with trash, you will smell trashy.
4.TREAT YOUR FAMILY LIKE COMPANY AND YOUR COMPANY LIKE FAMILY.
I have the 'company like family' part down pat. It's the 'family like company' that's easier said than done.
5.MARRY AN ITALIAN.
self explanatory. :)