Miss Canary's Bling

In the south we refer to all women as Miss. Doesn't matter if they're 20 or 80, married or single. So when I refer to Miss Canary as 'Miss,' do not take it that she is a single lady. She is, in fact, married to one of the wealthiest men in town. They live in a mansion (they have two homes but the mansion is their main residence.) and when trying to tell anyone where she lives, she just says, "I live in the big house on route 'blahblah.' We all know exactly which house it is.

Anyway, I ran into Miss Canary yesterday. First off, I must explain that Miss Canary DRIPS of jewelry at all times; during the day she sticks to (large) diamonds and at night she dons her emeralds and rubies. I always compliment her on her various bling and yesterday was no exception.

She wore a bracelet that had to have no less than 10 carats of diamonds,shaped something like a railroad track, the 'rails' a series of smaller diamonds and the 'ties' consisted of large diamonds..maybe a caret each.

"Well, Beej, I have a small problem concerning my jewelry.."

"Oh?" I wonder if it's getting too heavy to carry.

"Yes.." her forehead,above her perfectly tweezed and penciled eyebrows, suddenly develop deeper furrows.

"You see my earrings?"

How could I miss them? They were large enough to signal a landing airplane.

"Well, I have these two lovely little granddaughters and I planned n having each of these diamonds reset in rings to give to them. But my daughter had another child, a girl, and now I do not know what to do!"

"Miss Canary, maybe you could grow another ear!"

I thought that was exceptionally witty. Miss Canary seemed frightened. She hee hee-ed nervously, said she had to leave, and off she went.

I do believe she thought I was serious!

Poor scared soul.