Saturday, July 10, 2010

An Open Letter To the Postmaster General

Dear Postmaster General:

Hi. It's me, Beej. I hope you are having a good day even tho I heard a rumor that the price of stamps is going up again. I know it's not like you're pocketing money. In fact, you probably are losing money because people can email for free. (But I think it should not make folks hate your guts the way they do.)

Anyway, I have a question; I hear that the U.S. postal system is really hurting for cash. Does this mean you have been hiring folks with less education and maybe even a few extra handicapped people? The reason I am asking you this is because I think the person who delivers our mail might be blind.

I'm all for hiring the handicapped but I worry about whether our mail deliverer is blind because, you know, she does drive a truck and it might be extra hard for her, considering that the steering wheel is on the wrong side.

ANYWAY..."Why.." you might be asking, "Why do you think she might be blind?"

Well, it's like this, Mr General, Sir; a couple of weeks ago she delivered to our house what looked like a handwritten letter, that's cool and all, BUT! It was addressed to somebody I never heard of to an address that is no way mine. It's even an entirely different street. So I put it back in our mailbox and put up the little red flag and she took it way..

...for a few days..and then there it was again, in my box. That's when I figured she might be handicapped. I am a kind person so I put it back in the box and set that red flag back up.

And guess what, Mr General Sir! I got the mail today and there it was again! Now I do not believe that anyone our government would hire to deliver our mail (which keeps going up an up in price) would be that stupid! So I'm going to believe she is blind.

I am sure you provide her with medical insurance. I think it would be a kind thing if you dropped her a letter and recommended an eye exam. I know she will listen to YOU!..
..if she gets the letter that is..

Anyway, thank you for listening to me. I'm sure you have better things to do than read about blind mail deliverers.

Yours and SWALCAKWS,

you may have forgotten what SWALCAKWS means; it means 'sealed with a lick cause a kiss won't stick."



  1. I buy forever stamps, at the rate I use them the ones I have will last for two more years so I don't give a rats ass if they go up in price.

    Actually, I don't give a rats ass if the postal service goes down the tube, but I'm pretty much to the point to where I don't give a rats ass if everything goes down the tube.

    I'm getting old and cranky and I have guns, it may not be wise for anyone to cross me.

  2. I find it interesting that most people will say that email is free, and yet most people I know pay more to their internet service provider each month than they have paid in stamps in the last decade. When you consider the huge network of plants and depots and the aircraft and fleets of trucks involved in delivering a letter, it seems like a bargain to me.

  3. i wrote that tongue in cheek, of course, but the truth is, why would the lady who delivers our mail continue to put this back in our mailbox after we have returned it several times? At this point I kinda wonder if it's a little power struggle. I even considered putting it in a large envelope, along with a letter of explanation to the intended recipient and re-mailing it to them. Oh well.

  4. Just take it down to the post office, ask to speak to the head clerk, and tell that person what's going on and give them the letter.
    Or better yet, hand deliver that letter. There's a possibility that life is leading you to something interesting via post. :) Do it- just see what happens. It could be very cool.

  5. By the way, thanks for the "real" post. :)

  6. LOL hey, you wanted less video and more writing, you got less video and more writing!!

    Who sez I don't try to please my fans??


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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