Did you ever have one of those moments where you have been sooo emabarrassed you wish that you could just slither out of the room and end up in your bed with the covers pulled up over your head? And not come out until you were 90 years old? Or, better yet, dead? I had one of those today.
My son's friend came into the bookstore where I work and wanted to talk. I noticed it had stopped raining so I suggested we go outside. I sat on a low window ledge while we talked and after a short time, stood to go back instide. I immediately felt a cold draft on my hiney and realized I had sat in a puddle of water. My back end was sopping wet. I knew we were too short staffed for me to go home and change so I walked back into the store with water dripping off the rump of my pink pants.
My friemd, Dennis, had stopped in to say hi and after he composed himself..yes, he was laughing...he suggested I go into the ladies room and perch my rump under the hand dryer/blower thingy. I took his advice, went into the bathroom, bent over from the waist and stuck my rear end up toward the nozzle of the hand dryer. It's one of those motion activiated things, so i just hung my head, and wiggled my rump every 30 seconds or so to keep it running. (the air. Not the rump..)
With the loud noise of the machine and the warm air blowing on my ass i was so totally relaxed that I didnt hear two older women come into the room. But I did sort of sense that i was being stared at. I raised my head just enough to take in their faces... they were staring at me, and they were totally drop jawed with their eyes popping out of their sockets.
I straightened uo and turned around to show them the still damp rump of my pink pants. They came to their own conclusion as to how i wet my pants. I quickly explained that, no, i didnt have THAT kind of accident, that i had sat on a wet ledge outside. They hesitantly laughed...sort of...went into separate stalls and i left the rooom, with pants still wet. I figured it was better than situating my ass back under that dryer with those two women rright there in the same room.
I didnt know if i wanted to laugh or cry. I think a little of both. But now I am laughing out loud.