Christmas Candy

I'm all for fun Christmas gifts. And to be honest, I do not care what folks give to one another. But some of the biggest sellers at my book store have to do with poop. I kid you not..

First one on the list has to be the pooping penguins. These are little plastic replicas of the adorable arctic animals. You push on its head and a brown little jelly beans pops out of its back end. I sell a lot of these. Why? Why would anyone put this in a child's stocking? I do not know.

There is also the pooping reindeer and in past years there has even been a pooping Santa. He doesn't even yank down his red pants, he just squats and lets 'the good times roll!'

But the one thing I do not understand at all is the lump of chocolate, wrapped in clear plastic wrap and formed to look like a single reindeer BM. Parents love to buy these en masse to put in their children's' stockings.

This, in itself, doesn't seem too, too bad but each time I sell these I offer a small, silent Christmas prayer for the child who is its recipient; please, please, God, let this child be old enough to know that people do not really eat excrement. I have this mental image of a two or three year old being told that it's okay to eat this and then taking that as a green light to, well, you know...eat 'it' wherever it appears.

This really worries me. Why would anyone encourage a little child to eat something like this? I think there should be a warning posted on all these lumps;

THIS PIECE OF SHIT COULD BE DANGEROUS TO YOUR CHILD'S HEALTH.

I'm not dumb; I realize most folks would tell their kids that it is, indeed, just a piece of chocolate. But what about the parent who doesn't think or who is too busy on Christmas morning to explain this to a little one? I mean, there are some people who aren't really all that bright. (Why else would they put on a book of matches where they advertise courses to become a lawyer, 'do not send matches with your application?" If you are thinking of becoming a lawyer, shouldn't you be bright enough to know that without being told?)

This is what I think; I think they should make this candy taste like crap. Then we would not have this concern on Christmas morning.