Friday, December 4, 2009

Eggstraordinary

There is treachery in this world, evil occurrences, murder, torture, sexual deviance. And God has had enough.

He has sent a sign of better things to come; Did he create a river of pure water for draught ridden lands? Or change the hearts of a multitude of child abusers? No. He laid an egg.

Yup, He laid an egg in Texas, USA. Is it a newly created holy relic, brought into this world during this most blessed of seasons as a sign of better things to come? At least one woman thinks so:



Now, I'll admit, I am a believer in God. I am. But I don't think that means I need to be a believer in eggs. And if you look at that chicken, who is the proud Virgin Mary of the poultry world, I don't think she thought it a blessing while she was laying this thing.


Most of us would, maybe, take a photo and then scramble the egg. Or at least put little holes in the ends and blow out the insides. But are these farmers doing that? No, these people are going to save this egg. Can you imagine that? Thy have it in a little black box. And if it sits there much longer, they WILL need a miracle..to gt the stinky stench out of their home.

9 comments:

  1. Rolls eyes. You're a believer in god? We don't have a make believe friend out there that gives a shit about us.

    Humankind is alone and on it's own and needs to get it right or die off. And avoid the god believers, they keep killing each other.

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  2. I believe in eggs! Scrambled, hard boiled, poached, fried.....all the same to me....

    I once saw Jesus in a bottle of vodka. Honest! I'd just emptied the last shot and there he was!

    Sounds a bit Monty Python to me.

    Our Chicken
    Who art in the henhouse
    Give us this day our daily egg
    And forgive us for scrambling
    As we forgive those who hard boil against us
    And deliver us from broken yolks
    For thine is the egg box
    The laying and the clucking
    For as long as we don't stuff you

    Acockerel

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  3. you guys...ah well...no matter what i believe. no matter what you believe..I doubt God gave this crazy lady an egg as a sign of anything.

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  4. If god could make a fucking cross on an egg he could fix this world. That chicken just had her pussy all puckered up while laying that egg. Maybe a result of getting screwed while on her back.

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  6. Ya... I saw that shit last night on TV and thought ...people are such idiots...I am with the puckered up theory from BBC...anyway...what if the world is fucked up because of us...not God...US...not God..US...Oh...and what if it was our responsibility to fix it...not GODS...or any other scapegoat, cross putting on chicken eggs notion...but once again...I digress... Thanks for your writing Beej...

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  7. Yikes.. I couldnt imagine having that thing in my house.. No thanks.. Sorry I havent been around much lately. With the new job I have been busy getting used to the schedule..

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  8. Brother: A lot of these monkeys need a scrape goat, go figure.

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  9. tweetey, how's the new job going? I've been wondering where you've been.

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Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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