Thursday, December 10, 2009

Crumbs on a Plate

There is a little game I love to amuse myself with. Sometimes, when things are quiet in the bookstore, I'll look around and imagine what might go on when the day is done and the lights are off. This is what I imagine...

All the characters in all the books come to life as soon as the key has turned in the lock. They rub their eyes, shake a sense of awakening into their heads and stretch their arms to the ceiling. Then the nightly social event begins.

Rhett Butler has sauntered over to the Biography section where Marilyn Monroe is squeezing out of the pages of her book. Her sequined dress sparkles as she watches Rhett approach her.

"Happy birthday, Mr. Butler, happy birthday to you." she finishes her song and giggles. "Did you like that, Rhett?"

Rhett raises one eyebrow.
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

Just then, Harry 'Rabbit' Angstrom dribbles a basketball out of the Sports section, running past them on his way to meet up with Emma Bovary over in the fiction department. On the way, he is passed by Alice's friend, The Frantic Rabbit, who is rushing off to the children's section to meet with Flopsy, Mopsy, and Peter. Rumor has it that the berries have all been picked and cleaned and there is a bowl of them set in cream, awaiting him.

"Where you rushing off to?" Rabbit asks, not missing one beat with the basketball.

"I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say hello good bye, I'm late, I'm late. I'M LATE!!!" And off he runs.

Harry finds Emma Bovary over in the cafe talking to Scarlett O'Hara. Alice is there serving tea and cakes to her friends. Scarlett offers one to Harry as she turns back to Emma.

"I may have an 18 inch waist, "She says, cramming another cake into her mouth, "but as God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!"

Just then I catch a movement coming out of New Age. There is Nostradamus walking with determination over to the card game section.

Mother Theresa runs out of the Christian Living section to catch up with him.

"Where are you going, my son?" she asks.

"I'm going to pick up some Texas Hold em partners, Mother. I know I can win!"

"Do you think that's ethical, my son?"

Just then Tinkerbell flutters by. her usual bright light blinking and fading.
She soars over to the Musical Scores shelf. She flits over the rows of books and finds one called "Applause." and opens the cover.

"Clap! Clap or I will die! " she begs and a loud burst of applause comes from the pages.

Meanwhile, Peter Pan is over in the Home Repair section. He's tossing books on the floor until he finds one that will tell him how to repair a stuck window.

Back over in Fiction, Anna Karenina is strolling arm in arm with the conductor for the the Little Engine who Could.'

"I think I have strong emotional issues."she confides.

They head over to the cafe where Isak Dinesen is sitting at a table with Thoreau, talking about Africa. Noah, who has just come out of the Bible department is pulling up a chair.

"Wild animals? You want to talk about wild animals?? Oy do I have a story for you!"

Suddenly there is a click at the front door. All of my literary friends turn and look. The sun has come up and there I am, unlocking the door.

"RUN!!!!" they frantically scream out in unison. By the time I enter my bookstore, there is nary a soul in there but myself.

I glance around to make sure everything is in order for the new day and see a plate with cake crumbs on it lying on top of a cafe table. "Hmm, wonder who left that out."i think to myself.

I swear I heard a little girl's giggle coming from the Marilyn Monroe biography.


  1. Oh that was so much fun. You make me miss working ina bookstore. What a great job and I'm so glad you have this much fun!

  2. Can I have some of whatever it is you're on?...;-)

  3. Candy, lets get this straight; life is never easy when your name is Beej..har har har.

    Four, I have only one word to say to you;; "muwahahahaahaahaha."

    (I think I have finally gone over the edge..)

  4. Four, I just went over and read your award winning, funny funny blog and I'm thinking, "This guy is asking MOI for 'stuff?"

    Well butter my biscuits and call me a bun, I'll tell you what, my friend, You gimme some of yours, I'll give you some of mine!

    :) :) :)

  5. If we're talking weight here it's a deal!....;-)


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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