Friday, October 2, 2009

My Hero, Myself: Redux

I want you to tell me, if you would be so kind; does my previous post make much sense? Or is it merely a self serving piece of pithy?

I lost my mother when I was young but I remember well, her anguish over something or other that I did. I do not remember the exact circumstances, but I do remember her saying, "Savior of the world, save yourself!"

I remember my amazement that my own mother was commanding me to be selfish! And I was absolutely appalled. But now I know better what she meant; she meant you cannot save anyone or anything if you do not save yourself first.

My mother was one wise lady. I wish I had listened. Maybe it isn't too late.


  1. Beej most mothers are correct when they tell a child to do something.. I mean you tell your son not to touch the stove because its hot right?? Well what happens if he touches it anyway?? he gets hurt and you can stand there saying I said so!!!! Well that is more than likely what good old mom was trying to tell you...

  2. I know, tweetey. I know, now. Back then I didn't. Actually, I'm not sure I even know that now, really. And both my children are exactly like me.

  3. Wow, these last two posts are really amazing.

    I have so many responses and feelings as I read them.

    First...these notions of service and love can seem so contradictory to the idea of heal thyself. And do you notice...what your mumsays also relates to "confess your sins not theose of your neighbours" !!!

    All your life you were "ight" to be serving and serve the needs of others...but this plays out on so many levels. HOW do we know what are the needs of others?

    I believe that happiness is connected directly to compassion. I believe and act of happiness is service.

    But...having said that...we are not at all responsible for other peoples karma or philosophical ideals or spiritual paths (or if they even have spiritual paths)

    The challenge of being broght up in some of the ideals you expressed in your last post, and related to what Sheila commented is it has a tendancy to grow a "co-dependent" person.

    These are all fine line definitions and also...only really truly understood within each of us.

    It is a life of spiritual growth and challenges to serve and pray ofr others. In the list of Maslows Needs though ...what is the FIRST need?

    Self actualization!

    How do we reconcile that need...with the lessons you were taught as a child about serving others? I'm not sure our compulsively polarizing brain can reconcile any two concepts ha ha! And in some ways that is why practice is so important. All we can do is practice...and by that we become more intergrated and healthy. We become what we practice.

    It's definately not too late!!! It is never too late!!!

    I have more to say...but better tread carefully..(.har) ha since when?

    Your challenge is to integrate both compassion and self care. You are only responsible for your own happiness and love...the ego believes we can find this tho=rough others...but we can;'t. We must be the love we desire. We must be the caring we desire from others. It's a juggling act in some ways. We don't need to understand it intellectually.

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  5. Candy, thanks for your insightful post. I'm going through sooo much right now. I don't know why its all coming out at this point but i think its because my kids are gone. Its kind of sad for me to relinquish the idea that I can make the world happy. Its been my goal for so many years. And I have failed miserably. Miserably.

    Please, tell me more. you know I always have a ready ear.

  6. Oh god, I sounded pathetic, in that last response, didn't I? I'm really not moping or beating my chest, crying out, "Woe is me." I'm just going thru a serious. life altering regrouping. Growth hurts! I knew this was going to happen. Change is not an easy thing. I'm growing wings, is all.


Go ahead, you can do it! Just whistle if you want me. You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and BLOW....

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